Jane 4 Comments. Choice Theory and also reality therapy was created by Dr. William Glasser. In the book Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom , Glasser talks about replacing external control psychology with new choice theory psychology. According to Glasser, external control psychology has as its major premise —. It is never what we choose to do that is the cause of our misery. When people use external control, they think it is not them who is the cause of their suffering, it is their partner or another person.

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Choice theory psychology states that:. External control, the present psychology of almost all people in the world, is destructive to relationships and mental health. When used, it will destroy the ability of one or both to find satisfaction in that relationship and will result in a disconnection from each other. Being disconnected is the source of almost all human problems such as what is called mental illness, drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, and spousal abuse, to mention a few. Criticizing 2.
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Do you want to maximize the heck out of the important relationships in your life? In an ideal world, what does a healthy, thriving relationship look like to you? Ideas that come to my mind are: harmony, feeling good, feeling close, feeling happy, understanding each other, unconditional love, two-way respect, and getting along well. Do you think the above describes the majority of relationships? The majority of people are settling for less-than-satisfying relationships because they are participating in one or more of what Dr.
A s long as we insist on controlling people around us, we will create completely unnecessary suffering in our lives. From a choice theory perspective, virtually all of our behaviors are chosen. Consider the common example of the phone ringing when you are sitting or working at home. Either way, Glasser sees all behaviors as choices. We are happiest in relationships where we are able to satisfy our basic needs, feel supported and loved, and feel that the other person is not trying to control us.